La Lucci

lucciBack in 2000, I submitted something I wrote, produced and directed for the Emmys.  And, I’ll be damned if I didn’t win.  Beginner’s luck, eh?  Since then, I’ve gotten seven nominations and no win.  I’m starting to become the reverse Susan Lucci.  It took her 19 tries before she finally scored her first win.  It would appear I’ve got 11 more nods before I win again, dammit.

 Going to the local news Emmys is a trip.  It’s like Emmy-lite.  Or as Kathy Griffin calls it … “The Schmemmys”.   You hobknob with a bunch of local newsies and cable celebs and watch them get wasted over the course of an evening.  The year I won I was halfway across the world on a cruise ship in Spain.  I missed the opportunity to get up and give my obligatory drunken, blathering acceptance speech.  Instead, the guy who accepted for me said, “Michael is not here tonight, but — if he was here, his hair would be perfect.”  (It’s funny because it’s true.)

emmyIn 2001, my friend Keith won an Emmy, but wasn’t there to accept it.  Seconds before he won, I called him to see if I could accept it upon his behalf.  (Mainly because 45 minutes earlier, I had lost.  Again.)  We waited on bated breath and when he won I immediately bounded up on stage.  I said, “Keith isn’t here, but I’m friends with Keith and I know he’d thank God and his parents and Madonna.  Uh, not necessarily in that order.”  Cue laughter.  Cue applause.  Keith, of course, was appalled and aghast and wishes I never accepted it.  He’ll get over it.  Or as Kathy Griffin would say, “He can suck it.”

 

 

emmysSpeaking of Kathy Griffin, she now has TWO Emmys to my one, lone winged statuette.  My Emmy is lonely.  She needs another one to keep her company.  Plus, if I have two, they could be really cool bookends.  Well, that and I could brag shamelessly and blatantly that I’m a TWO-time Emmy award winner.  It sounds soooo much more important (and pretentious) than just winning once.  Anyone can win once … look at Keith, for Chrissake, but it takes TRUE talent to win two.

 And this year, it’s Emmy win or BUST!