So as you know, I’m now Über-Über famous.  I’ve officially changed my name to MichaelMackie.  One name.  Like Cher.  Or Madonna.  Since my Halls webisodes have launched on the Internet, I feel my adoring public growing by the nanosecond.

If you haven’t seen it … now’s your chance.  Enjoy!

I’m on the upswing of fame right now.  But soon I will have shaved my head and done a stint in rehab.  I’ll then make a tearful apology to my fans on “The Wendy Williams Show”.

It’s the circle of life, people.

Now that you’ve viewed my 1^st episode of “What The Chic”, here’s all the behind-the-scenes dirt that went on, uh, behind the scenes.  For starters, I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing.  I was nervous and antsy.  I teetered between throwing up and pooping myself.  I had the flop sweats so bad I was pitting out that shirt something fierce.  To make matters worse … the morning of the first webisode, I woke up with a SCATHING case of red eye.  It was so bad my left eye was nearly matted shut.  Apparently, if you actually unscrew the cap of Visine and pour the entire bottle on your eyeball, it can clear up redeye for two or three hours.

I had been rehearsing my lines for weeks.  No matter where I was I’d be saying, “Leggings can help make your legs look shapelier, flirtier and thinner.”  I was talking to myself like a crazy person — albeit a crazy person with immense fashion knowledge.  When I realized the entire Halls team would be watching my rehearsals, I immediately forgot my lines.  I stammered and stuttered my way through the first couple takes.  I overheard one of the Halls people say, “Did he just have a stroke?”

Joy.

The next three hours were a big blur.  I remember a few tidbits of abuse.  Like when the director hissed at me, “If I wanted a Michael Mackie impersonator, I would have hired one!” and “Can we do something about his scalp, for Chrissake?  It’s WAY too shiny!”

At certain key points in the day, the make-up artist would generously give me a sip of her Ginger Ale to calm my upset stomach.  She also gave me a little blue pill for my nerves.  Turns out it was only Aleve.  I was really hoping for something a little stronger … something straight out of “Valley of the Dolls”.

When I get nervous, I tend to overeat … a lot.  I mentioned that to the director once in passing.  During our brief lunch break, I unhinged my jaw to inhale everything in sight.  Fortunately, the director was one step ahead of me.  Before I had even taken a bite of my sandwich, he had smacked the food out of my hand and announced it was time to go back to work.

All in all, I survived my first webisode with only a few battle scars.  I left immediately after the shoot and drove to St. Louis where I proceeded to win an Emmy less than 24 hours later.

Next year, I’m going to win a freakin’ Emmy for “What The Chic”, or my name isn’t MichaelMackie.  Again, one name.  Like Liberace.  Or Shakira.