Screw Barbie and her pink convertible.   And that insufferable Skipper and Midge can both take flying leaps.

Turns out Mattel is now focusing their sights on Ken.  Yes, Ken, our favorite anatomically incorrect hunk.  Barbie’s on-again, off-again boyfriend is turning 50 this year and to celebrate Mattel is pulling out all the stops.

First up, Ken is getting a big-time makeover.  I believe they call it a “re-design” in the doll industry.  Can’t wait to see how this pans out.  First and foremost, they need to ditch the shellacked anchorman hair.  It’s been Ken’s trademark for far too long.  Give.  Ken.  A.  Better.  ‘Do.

Next, there’s going to be a new on-line reality series on Hulu called:  Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend! Hosted by Whitney Port, the eight-webisode series will feature eight men who feel they meet all the rigorous criteria and qualities of the Ken doll.  And they’ll do so while competing in various elimination challenges!

People, I can’t even make up stuff this good.

Of course, we all know that Ken is thisclose to coming out of the closet.  This should seal the deal for sure.  Come on … who could forget “Earring Magic Ken”, which featured a highly suspicious Ken Doll who wore tacky accessories that double as earrings a girl could wear.

And let us not forget Toy Story 3, which propelled Ken to the next level.  Who knew Ken was so snarky and irresistible?  Again I say, “Barbie who?”

Here’s what Stephanie Cota, senior VP of Mattel Girls brands had to say:

“He’s getting a makeover to make sure he’s still as culturally and visually relevant as Barbie is. He’s getting a little work done to get ready for his 50th anniversary. With a 50-year history, you have people who have been embracing (Barbie and Ken) from day one. The series is a great way for us is to have grownup girls and boys stay connected to the brand.”

Okay, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth reading that, but whatever.  So here’s to you Ken.  You’re the ultimate metrosexual.  For now.  And congrats on still being hotter than bacon grease at age 50.  If you’d just ditch that skank Barbie, you’d be SO much better off.   Oh and since you’re turning 50, it’s probably time for a colonoscopy.