Who got the best assignment this week?  This guy!  I scored the chance to practice and hang out with the Chiefs Cheerleaders on Friday, a dazzling crew of dance-tastic, big-haired stunners who couldn’t be nicer if they tried.

Since I got there early, I waved at all the girls traipsing in.  Of course, each and every one of ‘em instantly flashed their mega-watt smile and waved back.  A few of ‘em did have a quizzical smile, like they had just seen a unicorn.  I guess dudes aren’t usually allowed in to practice.  Before we got started, all the girls plopped down in little groups to dish on whatever it is cheerleaders dish about.  So I plopped down next to ‘em to ask some very important questions about that evening’s practice.  “Are we doing any routines to Madonna?” I asked.  “No, I don’t think so,” said a blondiful cheerleader.  “You are all dead to me,” I joked.  They laughed. I laughed.  Yep, I was in like flint.

First the cheerleaders showed off their general dancing prowess with a 20+ minute stamina building run through of their routines.  I, of course, joined in the festivities and quickly realized I had no clue what I was doing.  One of the cheerleaders next to me actually stopped dancing — and I assumed it was because she was winded.  Nope, turns out she was laughing so hard at me she was crying and had to get a tissue.

Happens.

After a 15-minute stretching period, which seemed a bit anti-climactic after the vicious warm-up, we got back in to the swing of things.  I was concerned with all the important details … like how to properly fling my head correctly so hair wouldn’t land in my face, similar to Cousin It.  “Um, you don’t have any hair to flip, my friend,” pointed out one of the cheerleaders.  I told them my hair was at a weird in-between phase and I was growing it out.  Most of ‘em bought it.

I found my calling in the kick line.  You know where the girls lock arms and walk down the field doing high kicks in sequence.  Up until this point the cheerleaders probably thought I was wildly uncoordinated.  But once I got the choreography … (“left foot, right foot, KICK, left foot, right foot, KICK KICK, repeat”), I nailed it.  There was applause, high-fives (as opposed to high kicks) and hearty congrats.

At the end of the workout, the girls gave me my own pair of fierce white go-go boots, which, in cheerleader terms, means they must have liked me.  I mean, really liked me.  And they signed ‘em too.  Oddly, they fit.  It is the gift that will keep on giving.  Can’t wait to see how the story turns out.  It will air this week on “Kansas City Live”.

Of course, my favorite part of the night was when I was leaving and yelled, “GROUP HUG!”  And then I was tackled by a sea of pom-poms with arms attached.  (It was at that point the videographer’s head exploded.  Me thinks he was a tad bit jealous.)

I walked away last night with 25 new BFFs and 25 different pulled muscles.  And today I can’t turn my head from side to side without flinching.  Too much hair flipping, I suppose.

Again, happens.