Being in Hawaii is like being in a United Colours of Benetton advertisement. In Kansas, everyone is white. Perpetually white. Here you see every race, creed, origin and ethnic background – and every variation in between. Everyone is friendly and polite and wants you to spend your hard-earned money.
Every time I venture out, I try to glean some useless bit of trivia about Hawaii to share with my readers. Okay – that’s SO not true. I just happen to hear bits and pieces of various tour groups passing by … and since I’m nosy I eavesdrop.
For instance, Hawaii is devoid of snakes. And overrun with chickens and feral cats. Sounds like the food chain in action. Speaking of food — on Waikiki, McDonalds’ Happy Meals cost $8. And, I swear, it’s the only thing NOT served with a pineapple. More than 1/3 of the world’s commercial supply of pineapples comes from Hawaii. 320,000 tons … but who’s counting.
Dog the Bounty Hunter lives here … and besides sugar cane and pineapple, he’s Hawaii’s most notable export. White folk – uh, including Dog — are referred to as “haoles” (pronounced howl-ees). I can’t tell is that’s a racial slur or term of endearment. Typically, if there is an obscene invective preceding it – it’s probably derogatory, yes?
Waikiki attracts 72,000 visitors on any given day. And that’s just on the H-1 highway. Good Lord, there’s a lot of traffic here. 44 percent of all Hawaiian tourists flock to Oahu … apparently, just to get in my way.
Hawaii is the only state that grows coffee. Ironically, it’s not the only state with a Starbucks on every street corner.
The Hawaiian shirt came into being after island missionaries encouraged the natives to cover their nakedness. I would encourage most of the tourists in this hotel to do the same. I don’t care what the pattern print is … just make sure it’s covering your flab.
Everyone should visit America’s 50th state … and I’d suggest doing it THIS year … it’s their 50th anniversary of becoming part of the good ol’ US of A. I leave tomorrow … and I’ll miss Hawaii. It was the trip of a lifetime and something I’ll remember for as long as I can.
So did you kill Eric? He was strangly not mentioned in day 6 and his photo stopped appearing about day 3? Using a BLOG as an alibi probably will not work so if he is still alive but locked in a closet somewhere let him free. You will thank me later for this advise. I mean come on who is going to drive you to the airport and get your happy “drunk” ass through security and on the plane?
Miss you both… have fun … safe travels!
MRC the other “fabulous” Michael