I have been felled by a bad back only once in my life.  That is, until last week.  

Last Friday, while I was getting ready to hold auditions at my ad agency, I sneezed.  And promptly threw out my back.  Mind you, this wasn’t just a slight tweak in my lower lumbar.  This was a complete, uncontrollable spasm that made me do a face-plant directly in to the floor.  I folded like a cheap card table.  I dropped like a sack of potatoes.  I collapsed like Enron.  Oh, you get the idea. 

Imagine, if you will, a studio overrun with pretty people rehearsing their lines.  Then imagine me laying on the ground in a crumpled heap.  Classy, huh?  You haven’t really lived until you’ve had pretty people come to your rescue.  Some (including my crew) thought I was having a heart attack.  Others thought I had a stroke.  Most, however, assumed I was just another actor practicing for a dramatic reading.  But there I was curled up in the fetal position and poised to black out from the pain at any second. 

Okay – maybe it wasn’t quite THAT bad … but when you’re in a room filled with thespians, you typically have to trump their ace.  Somehow I managed to get through the day in semi-debilitating pain.  I’m no fool.  I immediately called a massage therapist and then took several muscle relaxers.  They helped.  Believe me, those muscle relaxers were so strong even the unattractive actors immediately got better looking. 

Friday was definitely one of those days where I was humbled by the kindness of strangers.  And after an entire weekend of nursing my back along and catering to its every whim, I’m starting to feel human again.  And, yes, I am replacing my director’s chair with an ergonomic kneeling chair.  Thanks for caring.