There is truth in advertising.  And then there are skinny jeans.  In my latest webisode for Halls, I am promoting the virtues of denim.   Apparently, there’s a small segment of the population that looks good wearing skinny jeans  — emphasis on small.

Early in rehearsals, a gun was held to my head to try on a few pairs … me thinks for posterity.   After trying on nine different pairs of skinny jeans (each more ill-fitting than the last), I finally lost my patience and my temper.  “I am trapped in the body of a black girl,” I yelled at no one in particular.  My stylist Joey (who I adore) finally broke down and brought down a pair of “Gentleman’s Jeans”, which according to Joey “have more, uh, fabric”.  They fit like a dream.   Good thing too … they were well over $200.  And, no, in case you were wondering … the Gentleman’s Jeans are NOT spun with gold.  (I asked.)

This was not my smoothest segment of “What The Chic”.  I tried to look enthused and affable during the shoot, but if you look closely at my face you’ll see a look of disdain.  Frankly, I was resentful they made me stand so close to a male model who probably weighed 82lbs soaking wet.  His 29-inch waist was so teeny, he made me look like Shamu.  When people ask if I’m wearing skinny jeans in the video, I quickly tell them “Yes, and I got them at Missouri Tent & Awning!”

I’m roomy through the seat and thighs.  That’s retail lingo for “my ass has an ass”.  So if you can wear skinny jeans, more power to you.  I’m gonna stick with my relaxed fit denim … again, that’s retail code for “fat pants”.