It’s official … I’ve finally gotten in on the ground floor of something, before the rest of the world has discovered it.   I’m practically giddy, like Xmas came early.  You know me, if something has gone mainstream I tend to shy away from it.   (Uh, “The Office” and Lady Gaga notwithstanding.)

What is it, you ask?  www.localnewsqueen.com

It’s a scathingly snarky website written anonymously by a local femme fatale news reporter.   She is vicious and delicious in her woefully accurate portrayal of the state of the TV news industry.   And she writes things that are not only spot-on, but also wickedly funny.

She’s officially been online for two weeks … so her work is still real, raw and honest.  But she speaks the truth … and, believe me, I can relate.  I was in the news business for ten years before being bounced to the curb like a discarded wad of gum … tutti-frutti, mind you.  She’s just as bitter and jaded as any of the news personalities I worked with.  The only difference … she’s found an outlet and is taking it to the streets.  She’s taken her sense of humor and channeled it … mocking the industry’s absurdities and atrocities.  And she writes about it daily.

If Dennis Miller, Stephen Colbert and Ashleigh Banfield had a demon seed, their spawn would be the local news queen.

In one blog, she has a running commentary about riding around for 8-10 hours a day in a station vehicle.  (Back in the day, we’d call ‘em “News Cruisers”)  Here’s what she had to say:  “Each news car smells the same. It’s as if an obese man ate a basket of garlic toast and died in the back seat.” (I read that and my drink nearly came out my nose.)

Part of me wonders if the “queen” part of the URL is a secret clue to her identity.  Me thinks she’s not really a woman, but a gay man.   Lord knows I know several gay men who write with such ferocity.  If you’re gay and can string words together, sarcasm is practically ingrained in your essence.

Soon, I’ll have to stop reading her because she will have found her voice and an audience.  But until then I like her take-no-prisoners attitude.  Feel free to read it … but I forbid you to tell anyone.