St. Louis is a mere four-hour journey down the road from me.    I love to visit there and have mindless, free-spirited weekend getaways.  I think of St. Louis as my “summer home in the Hamptons” – uh, despite the fact I don’t have a home there.  I do, however, have plenty of friends who let me use their villas as crash pads.  (Foolish mortals.)

If you weren’t aware, St. Louis has the third largest Mardi Gras in the world after Brazil (CARNIVALE!) and, of course, New Orleans.  As many times as I’ve been to St. Louis, I’ve never been to Mardi Gras.  That is … until last weekend.

It is a drunken, hedonistic free-for-all.  200,000+ revelers.  And there I was in the middle of all of it.  Only on Mardi Gras (and occasionally St. Patty’s), can you begin binge drinking at 8am.  It’s delightful really.  But – word to the wise – if someone hands you a red, fruity drink called a “Hurricane” – politely decline it.  At least until after 12pm.

You’ll note the sort of glassy look on my face in this picture – which was taken around 10:15am-ish.  

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur – but from I’ve heard from multiple sources it went a little something like this:

8am:  Mmm!  Mimosas!

9am:  Brunch!  Biscuits and Gravy … and Margaritas.

9:30am:  Eye-Opener – 1^st Hurricane.  (Think Jonestown Kool-Aid mixed with moonshine.  And a hint of Kerosene for flavor.)

10am:  Wondering why I’m having trouble navigating through the endless sea of people.  I blame it on the 50lbs. of beads weighing down my neck.

10:30am  Bottled water.  (Note the pic.  It’s the only smart choice I made all day.)

11am-6pm  Another hurricane … some blue drink … a Rum & Coke … miscellaneous shots … a couple glasses of wine … chronic, debilitating neck pain … more hurricanes … a brief period of sleeping while leaning against a street lamp … several margaritas … random colorful shots … did I just piss myself? … twisted ankle … two more hurricanes … OOOH! BEADS! … where is my other shoe? … something called a JagerBomb … why have I lost my voice? …

… and after that, the party REALLY got started. 

So needless to say, I’m never eating or drinking again.  Lent will not be a problem this year because I have an aversion to any sort of alcohol ever entering my system again.  Final note … I think one of the producers from the A&E show “Intervention” may have approached me at some point during Mardi Gras.  I think he wanted to know where I got the hurricane.  I pointed off to the west … and promptly threw up on his shoe.