Perez Hilton announced to the world that he’s going to stop be a bully on his website.  What?!  That’s like the Pope saying he’s not going to be Catholic anymore.  Or Madonna refusing to use her fake British accent all the time.

I’m sorry, but some things are better left unchanged.

I read Perez simply for his snark and general bitchiness.  He writes things that most Americans are thinking.  Fortunately, Americans have a slight degree of tact and decorum.  Perez does not, and that’s what I love about him.

In a recent interview with Ellen, he told the viewing audience that he plans on being a smarter writer and will not resort to mean-spirited comments.  Pot-shots, snide innuendos and flat-out slams will now be tabled.  In its place will be … well, I’m not sure what the hell will replace it.

Perez has, I swear, 162 different variations of his website.  There’s one about fashion, one about fitness and the other is, well, uncensored and naughty.  But his namesake is his bread and butter.  PerezHilton.com gets upwards of three million hits a day.  A day!  (At the height of the Britney Spears-meltdown he was getting five, sometimes six, million hits.  That’s obscene.)

Perez is a bully.  That’s his thing.  His gig.  He loves to slice and dice people to shreds.  Hello, Miley Cyrus and Ryan Seacrest?   He even has rude little nicknames for his victims … like “Lindsanity” for Lindsay Lohan and Coke-kate for Kate Moss.  I live for those and have started using them in everyday vernacular.

Plus, if Perez stops being a bully, how am I supposed to get my fix of things of things I should have absolutely NO interest in … like Gossip Girl or the new moronic character on 90210?  I also like to know who’s getting fat, who’s gay and who’s strung out on heroin.

Please don’t take away the viciousness, Perez.  Your adoring public needs a harsh dose of reality every once and awhile.  Just sayin’.