My favorite charity of choice, SAVE, Inc. threw a party last night … a masquerade.  It was the first time the organization has attempted such a feat and, for an inaugural event, it went off swimmingly.

I wish I could say the same thing about me choosing the proper headgear.

Since I’ve never been to a masquerade (shocker, I know), I wasn’t sure what kind of statement I wanted to make.  There are so many options … each more ornate and/or regal than the last.  Did I want something small and demur that simply covered my eyes?  Or did I want an over-the-top, grandiose mask that I carried around in front of me like a cigarette holder?

The problem with throwing a masquerade is that everyone mentions the tragic Stanley Kubrick film “Eyes Wide Shut”, where a costume ball turns in to raging orgy.  “No … it’s not that kind of party,” I told most of my friends. (I lied to a few others just to get ‘em there.  Suckers.)

I eventually settled on something multi-colored and pointy, something I could use as a weapon in case things got weird later in the evening.  From the minute I walked in the door, I had a difficult time recognizing anyone.  It’s weird standing next to someone you’ve been friends with for years and finally realizing who they are based on their voice.  I’m bad with names anyway, so last night nearly caused me to have a series of small mini-strokes.

The masks were often oh-so gender specific.  Some were dainty laced-up ones that would make Marie Antoinette jealous.  Many looked like big doilies.  Others were hyper-mask-uline leather animal masks or sported an obnoxious beak.   A few featured plumage … giant peacock feathers that gave a person another two feet of height to their head.  Go big or go home, I guess.

My mask managed to stay on for nearly the entire evening until the effects of alcohol and too much dancing made it difficult to wear.  Uh, it’s hard to dab off sweat when your face is covered.  Plus, since it was handmade I was worried about the paint starting to run.  I would have taken off my mask and looked like a deranged yellow raccoon.

Today I found out there were tons of folks there I never spotted.  Yep, probably saw you and had no idea who you were.  Glad you had a good time.  Sorry about the non-orgy.  Maybe next year.