Ever since Madonna introduced slackline performers to the world during last year’s Superbowl, people have been fascinated by the sport.  Imagine being a human buoy, bobbing up and down in rhythmic fashion on heavy-duty nylon webbing.

Thanks to that auspicious debut, 50+ million viewers went, “What the hell was that?”

Well, yours truly got the chance to go behind-the-scenes of Madonna’s MDNA World Tour today and hang out with the slackliners who make the stunts look so easy.  Hayden and Jaan flipped up, flipped down and landed in positions only contortionists could handle.  I felt lucky to put both feet on the slackline without plummeting to my doom.

I, of course, was wildly inquisitive about Madonna.

Turns out she often practices with the two athletes and has become remarkably good at the sport.  I tried really hard not to squeal when Hayden mentioned that Madonna often tries her hand at some of the routines.  That meant that at some point I was standing on the same hollowed ground as my beloved Madge.

Bless their hearts … the boys gave me a quick lesson on how to be, uh, not so clumsy.  Turns out focus is half the battle.  The minute I’d see something shiny, I’d immediately fall off the slackline.  A couple times they’d try their best to steady me, but it was a losing battle.  Not only did I fall off the slackline, I’d usually take them with me.  I probably would have apologized, but I was laughing so hard at my oafishness that I couldn’t.

I’d like to say that eventually I got the hang of it … but no such luck.  I did manage to do a couple baby jumps and land squarely after a couple uncoordinated bounces.  It took every iota of energy I had to stabilize myself on the taut cord.  More times than not, Hayden was standing by to offer a shoulder or hand.  At one point when I lost my balance I actually grabbed on to his head for stability.  He didn’t even flinch.  Attaboy.

They were nice enough to give me my own Gibbon Slackline when I left.  “All you need is to practice, practice, practice,” Hayden said.  “I will … as long as I don’t kill myself, kill myself, kill myself.”

Can’t wait to see them in action tonight during Madonna’s concert.