I just got back from a dazzling trip to North Carolina. It was a great vacation … lazy and lethargic. And I love visiting states I’ve never been to before. Believe me, as much as I travel – those states are getting few and far between. (Hawaii … you’re up next!)

Since I went over Halloween weekend, all anyone wanted to talk about was – yep, you guessed it – the election. That was, however, the ONE thing I did NOT want to talk about. Especially in the South. Turns out North Carolina is a ferocious swing state … and, as of this writing, they still haven’t figured out whether Obama or McCain won the state. A mere 5,000 votes separated the two. (Keep in mind, a whopping 6,000 votes made the difference in stupid Missouri. Go figure THOSE figures.) 

My good friend Gene (who I bummed around with all weekend) has bounced all over the globe … from NY to Bahrain to Kansas and all points in between. He’s smart, seasoned, educated and a former military policeman. And a mere 24 hours before the election, he still hadn’t made up his mind who would get his vote. (I nearly did back flips when an Obama supporter knocked on his door on Saturday afternoon. Less I digress.)

Mercifully, Gene was too busy chasing skirts all weekend to discuss politics. And I was too drunk to discuss Gene’s supposed luck with the ladies. So we kept our discussions to a minimum – usually because we were eating. Good thing Gene likes to eat. We certainly did our fair share of that. On Friday alone, I ate my weight in really good sushi. So-fresh-it-makes-you-want-to-smack-yo-momma-sushi. You know the kind.

Gene is a brick house and his appetite rivals those of professional competitive eaters. It’s impressive, really. And, by impressive, I mean Gene is a pig. But he runs marathons and participates in triathlons … so I guess that’s allowed. I call him “the bigger brother I never wanted.”  It’s like having a freakin’ Clydesdale for a friend.

I’ll document all our fun and frivolity in my next blog. It involves … among other things … tattooed lesbians, coconut-sprinkled donuts, mold, show tunes and one helluva scary Zombie movie. How’s THAT for a teaser?