Believe it or not, cosmetology schools are probably one of my favorite clients to work with.  If I didn’t get in to TV, I probably would have been a beauty school dropout. 

The nanosecond we landed our new clients … my mind feverishly started coming up with catchy slogans and even catchier catch-phrases!  “Career makeovers … one student a time.”  “And while you look mah-velous, your future looks even better!”  “Your skills are now a cut above the rest!” “You go, girl!  To Cosmetology College, that is!”  

It’s a wonder I didn’t have a stroke. 

I’ve shot video in every upscale beauty academy or cosmetology school from here to Paris (uh, Kansas, that is.)  And while my flair for fab-u-lous-ness has never been higher, my ego has never been lower. 

In every salon I stumble in to, I’m instantly scrutinized by 30+ rabid students who look at me like a fresh piece of meat.  To date, I’ve had offers to wax my eyebrows AND my back.  I’ve had offers to frost my hair, shave off my hair … or my personal favorite, shave off my hair and then frost the remaining stubble.  Who am I?  Billy Idol? 

The other day, I went out of my way to compliment a student’s new purple-icious Mohawk.  She looked at me incredulously like only a purple-haired, mohawked student can and shot back, “It’s EGGPLANT!”  

Yesterday, I had a facial and was aghast to hear I have pores big enough to fall in to.  Monday, I had a pedicure and found out I have excessively brittle toenails.  Tomorrow I’m having my ears waxed.  Don’t ask. 

Professionally, I think I am the perfect person to work on all these different clients.  Duh.  Who cares more about looking good than me?  My bosses clearly picked the right person to run with these accounts.   Shear genius, if you ask me.  Personally, though, I don’t think I can feasibly work on this campaign much longer.  It’s taking up a lot of my time and, frankly, I’ve had to get a part-time job to maintain my Fabio hair-extensions.