Last week my dad called and informed me that he and Mom wiped out the liquor cabinet. At first, I was thrilled!  Lord knows binge drinking is fun! My folks aren’t as peppy as they used to be, so I figured booze would be a nice, little pick-me-up before they both turned 100.

Turns out my dad meant he actually EMPTIED the liquor cabinet.

35 years of half-opened bottles of alcohol down the drain.

My parents were never big drinkers, but they did like to entertain when their cronies came over.  And, of course, each crony drank something different.

Even though my folks had no idea how to make Harvey Wallbangers, they had all the accoutrements for it. Moscow Mule? No problem! Grasshopper? Piece of cake!

The last time I poked my head in that cabinet, I was looking for something simple like tequila. No luck.  But if I wanted absinthe, amaretto or amber ale, I could easily have procured it by digging to the back of the cupboard. Growing up, I found hard alcohol to be nasty and vile. Why anyone in their right mind would drink scotch was beyond me. (It was only later in life that I discovered if you had the right mixers you could make tasty little concoctions!)

My dad, of course, saw nothing but dollar bills going down the drain as he was pouring stuff out.  But really, when was he going to drink that Crème de Menthe from 1977?  And since my Mom usually drinks Manhattans, I doubt she was going to miss all the fixins’ for a Sloe Gin Fizz.

If you were to swing by the Mackie household today to celebrate St. Patty’s Day, you’d have a limited beverage service available. Likely beer, soda and wine. Just don’t expect any fancy-shmancy wines, mind you. My parents have discovered those huge economical jug-like bottles of wine with exotic names like “Horse Piss Chardonnay” or “This Ain’t Merlot, But It’s Red”.

Feel free to stop in and show the love, though. My parents still love to entertain … just BYOB.