My good friend Tana Goertz is one in a long, long list of my friends who have gone on to be well-known reality TV stars. Tana was the runner-up in Season 3 of “The Apprentice”. Ask anyone who watched that season … she was robbed. Girlfriend deserved to win.
Since then Tana has gone on to find major success as a motivational speaker, a spokesperson and all-around media darling. She’s my idol. The last time I saw Tana she was in town hawking “The Bedazzler”. Yes, THAT Bedazzler. She shot an infomercial that has been seen from here to Timbuktu. You’ll usually spy it on cable between 3-5am, because, obviously, that’s when people are most apt to buy sparkly appliqué items. (“YOU CAN GO FROM NOW … TO WOW!”) The ads are still airing … and she’s still getting residuals from them.
When Tana was in town last week to give a speech, she brought her posse. You know you’ve made it when you’ve got an assistant (or two) in tow. Her wranglers called a few weeks before and said, “Ms. Goertz would like to have dinner with you while she’s in town.” I wanted to say, have your people call my people … but quickly realized I didn’t have people. Dammit.
Tana may very well be one of the sauciest dames I’ve ever met. She’s ballsy, blustery, acerbic, raunchy and biting. If you don’t want her opinion, don’t ask. She tells it like it is … but she’ll have your best interest at heart. And she’s also one of the funniest, most street-smart women on the earth. Hanging out with her is like a getting a harsh dose of reality, as told by a comedienne. I simply adore her.
Tana has made a cottage industry of being an encouraging economic know-it-all. A guru for greenbacks. People turn to her in times of monetary crisis for her advice. She’s a sexier, straighter Suzie Orman. And she gets paid dearly for it. Is America great or what? Girlfriend is always impeccably dressed with some sort of killer power suit or ensemble. Her theory? Whatever you’re getting paid to deliver a speech … make sure your outfit cost more than that amount.
Money makes the world go ‘round. And Tana? She’s like a one-woman stimulus package.
TANA! What an absolutely dedicated friend you have to write all those magnificent words about you. They are so true and it’s about time the public reads more about your talents and abilities. Your charisma when you walk on a stage are magnetic and you talk with such clarity and sound that everyone listens & watches you, as you pour out words of positive helpful measurements for your audience. When you wrote the book, about “Finny” you gave a present to all children and adults too, that everyone can achieve success in this big world, by never giving up. You never gave up from, “Mary Kay” to the Apprentice.YES TANA- was robbed – she is the “Queen” of the “Street Smarts” and Tana should have been crowned on May 19th, 2005 as the Apprentice 3 winner. We all love you Tana, you have the greatest personality, so keep smiling & the world will smile back!