I am poised to turn the big 4-0 in mere days.  Unfortunately, it comes as quite a shock to me.  I’ve been lying about my age for years.   I don’t look 40 — uh, providing I’m wearing a baseball cap and immersed in soft bar lighting.  I don’t act 40, mainly because immaturity allows you to get away with murder.  So really 40 is just a number.

I have fought aging with every fiber of my being since I turned 21.   And skincare is vital part of that.  I foolishly spent most of my teen angst years sunning myself like a lizard on a rock.  And I’ve been trying to undo that damage for years.  Ironically, this week’s episode of “What The Chic” focuses on the Do’s & Don’ts of men’s skincare.  It’s nothing you don’t already know … just funnier.

Unfortunately, time didn’t permit me to tell you some of my specialized regimens.  For instance, DO invest in Botox.  Having needles filled with botchulism injected right near your eyeball can seem daunting, but it will immediately erase five years off your face.  DO have microdermabrasion from time to time.  It feels like an aggressive cat licking your face off, but it sloughs off months (perhaps, years) of dead skin.  DO moisturize your face relentlessly.   I lather up my face until it resembles the Exxon Valdez oil spill.  And, finally, DON’T FORGET to take care of your neck … it’s like your second face.  Nothing is worse than having a great mug, but old neck.  (Hello, Ellen … are you listening?)

I have a whole laundry list of other things I do, but don’t have time to tell you.  I’m wearing a mud mask right now and it’s been 20 minutes.  I gotta get this thing off before I start flaking.  You know how it is …